where too from here?

SO, most know I am moving late this year. Its starting to keep me up at night. I am looking forward to the move immensely. But there's that fear factor as well. Are we doing the right thing uprooting our kids and moving them to a new lifestyle at this stage in their lives, or have we missed the boat and should of done this before  high school? When is the right time to  move kids?

After only ever really knowing this house for my kids This moveis bound to have a few upheavals  for the kids. Changing schools, making new friends and missing old ones  will be factors in operation keep the move smooth sailing for the kids. Luckily both kids are likable and most people like them when they meet them, so I dont foresee any major problems.

Hubby is  starting  to understand the  level of work  that is needed to be completed before we go, but with the stresses of dealing with moving a work force and work out  the logistics of how to go about moving  entire factory machinery in one weekend without loss of production is proving challenging as well. We have made a few decisions  that have helped ease our  rising anxiety on this matter, But Now has bough up a new thing for me to worry about. Finances. nothing major, its all doable and we will most probably be much better off going about it this way. So why cant I sleep! Why is it  moving, which is what I really want, scaring me half to death when I think about it? 

Sometimes I think I am just not able to have true happiness in this life. Every time I look like  I am heading down a path where I will be happy and content I tend to sabotage myself. Maybe Part of me thinks I dont deserve to be happy. The last few days I have been starting to think  I am still being punished  for some unknown digression I made in a past life. I know, I know I have many issues to work through and lately  a major one has been bubbling to the surface. This last week in particular I have had all the pointers pointing me in a direction I dont want to go, but I think I will have to go if I am ever going to find that contentment in life.

I thought I let go of  the past and moved on, but it seems the past has a way of popping up from time to time to remind us things. For me Its been a case of reminding me that just telling myself  that I alone have the power over me isn't enough. The universe is shouting to me at the moment to  do something about this, only I am unsure how to fix the problem, or even if its a problem that can be fixed.