Warning- Melt Down in progress

Its not even 9am and already the temp is over 32c I have been filling out forms on line since 6.30 trying to answer questions  honestly for a rental, but since I have only rented 4 6mnth 18 years ago and I am in my 40's its near on impossible, not to mention that its not me paying but husbands work so half the answers aren't relevant got the end of filling out this massive application only to have them say ok now fill out your partners form.. seriously!!! I have done nothing but cry for the past hour trying and failing to not stress out  now when I call them they say  sorry you have to me  view the house before we will even look at your application.. how do people that live in other countries find  houses then? 


Today I just want to crawl under a rock and never see sunlight again It might seem small to other people  but  its a huge thing for me. I am not coping with the stress of finding a new house and then having certain people compounding the stress by constantly harrassing me with stupid questions like so have you found some where yet? would I look this stressed out if I had somewhere!!!! or why ask me have you looked for a job yet... I dont even have a freeking address to put on the employment app so how the flying fuzzies would I Apply for a job and its none of your freeking business anyway stop harassing me with  irrelevant questions I will get a god damn job when I am freeking ready not when you say I should, my kids health and happiness will ALWAYS come before any job  and at the end of the day  its between me and Oscar not anyone else so  take 2 steps back cause I am about to come out swinging very very soon!!!! yes I am that angry.


Today is one of those days that if you look at me wrong I may just tear you a new one or I may fall in a heap and cry uncontrollably. I dont do hot and its so hot already outside. I don't handle stress well, in fact the Dr has said flat out 2 months ago that I am to keep my stress levels to an absolute minimum and yet it feels like I am getting it from every single angle. On one hand I have Oscar saying you have to sort this house thing out  but call me if you have any drama then if I call I get told don't stress out it will sort out but keep at it so really that's no help at all I am clueless as to what steps to take  with renting and  I am sorry if there is a realtor reading this but my opinion of realtor's has steadily dropped in the past 2 months that we have been dealing with them. most have been down right rude, as far as I can tell everything said is half truths or down right lies by one man in particular. The only one I have liked so far is the one that sold our house, so far she has been the most helpful  even with  advice for  getting a rental and she wont see a cent of that.


My oldest is  not handling his crimped lifestyle  now that we have to be extra careful with his activities so become a little broody. My response, back off buddy I have monopoly on broody  this week!  


Hubby has so much stress with his work problems staff and  trying to run a factory  from 2 locations each with half staff capacity ATM on top of which  organizing  the 2nd  half of operation move factory with no loss of production  200+km away. So I am doing my best to try and work all of this out without bothering him too much, but he is the only one that can answer most of the questions.


 The Youngest's main concern is will we still have  internet,, more importantly will we have  broad band still.


We only have 35 days left and we will be homeless and I find out today that the rental lady wont even be available till mid next week.


So  everyone  I am giving fair warning, approach today only with chocolate and with care and dont mind the  melting mess in the corner its only me having yet another melt down.

cave woman days are numbered

Ok so  I know I am a bit behind the times here, but today I got my eye brows waxed for the first time.  Never used tweezers either. My sister in law showed me threading on my eyebrows last week and we both almost wet ourselves to my reaction to  hair being forcibly removed from my body.


Its been about 2 hours and my eyes are still smarting  over the blessed event, my brows  (the part where once there was hair) are still tingling  like they have been assaulted and scorched. I know I should toughen up  and be a girl about it,  but we actually do this to ourselves every month.. On purpose!!!


I should just be thankful I am in my 40's before this has become an issue. I know women that have been doing this to themselves since their early teens, lip too! my lip is quivering in fear right now just  thinking about that. Just one more  thing to thank menopause for I think. 


In the past 2 years I have had some changes to my body that have not been in the manual. for starters I have always been really proud of my eye brow shape and its hair count. I may of been a little smug in fact when I heard  women talking about welts and hiding their faces with big bulky sunnies. I have a birthmark with small mole on my cheek, never has it concerned me my entire adult life, but this past year I seem to have hair coming out of everywhere! My brows have revolted on me and made me think a cave woman is looking back at me when putting make up on. For the first time since I was a teen I have become self concious about the mark on my face I had all but forgotten was there.

The young lass that  performed her task today was amazed that someone got to my age without needing it done.. To her credit she sweetly informed me I didn't need much taken off at all, just a little reshaping. I laid down closed my eyes and let her go for it, my only request was I don't walk out with brows so thin you may as well  not have any. She promptly slapped on the warm substance between the 2 offending hairy caterpillars and I thought, well this is lovely and relaxing, then OMFreakingG My eyes began to water, and then the lovely warm stuff goes on my eye lids(just above) and I am thinking that's it I am about to get my lids ripped off.


Ok so it wasn't THAT extreme but  if you all remember back to your very first time ever and you get the picture. So then the  plucker things come out and I am thinking if this goes on much longer  I may have to be a guy and say ouch that hurts. In truth I think I was in there less than 3 minutes, but  it felt like the dungeon of doom  and I had been in there for at least 10. worse I was paying for the pain, does that make me  a sadist or  just into BDSM? 


So off I go back out the front I pay her and thank her, (what's with that) I leave thinking already ok so what date do I need to get myself redone and smile to myself thinking that my cave woman days are numbered.


Tomorrow I am off to get my eye lash extensions.  I am really looking forward to the experience. From what I have seen on you tube links it looks like a really relaxing way to spend an hour or so. This was the reason behind getting the  hairy beasts under control again. There was no point  having gorgeous eyes  then being framed by an out of control hedge was there!

Have a fabulous Friday

Whoo hoo, put on your happy face, its Friday.. Well it is here anyway. I cant believe how fast this week has gone. Our first home open this weekend and I am both excited and nervous. what if it sells straight away, what if no one comes to see it? What will be will be, but I cant help but have those thoughts from time to time. Still  Today is here and I am going to enjoy the moment.


 Today will be one of those days where  I am not sure if its appropriate to smile, laugh or be happy though. Today I am meeting with my mum and family  and we scatter my nan's ashes where she requested them to be scattered. She has been gone  a couple of months now so the healing process has begun, yet I think  this is a very important step for many of  my family members, to help them move on. 

Its funny how many different ways there are for people deal with loss isn't it. some are able to move on a little easier and continue to live life appreciating the time spent with the person. while some internalize, keeping their thoughts and feelings to themselves. Then there are others that continue to talk about  the person gone talking about them  more than  they ever did when still here. None are considered wrong ways to  mourn. Everyone has a different coping tool, mainly entwined with their spirituality and beliefs.


On the outside  to others I seem to be able to move on fairly quickly. Its not that I don't  think about them any more, quite the opposite in fact. When someone passes I tend to think of them much more. For me though constantly talking about the person passed is not the way to go. Believe it or not there truly are things I dont talk about. I understand that for others its the only way they can cope and by talking about them in a small way they are still with them. But when I talk about the person I want to talk about them in a celebratory way not think about the things they will now miss or would love to see so I tend to distance myself from those that need to do  that. That's just my coping tool. 


I do my crying when they pass  and at the funeral then  I have purged my sadness its time to think of the persons gift to life and myself. Seeing others crying  upsets me terribly so going to  see the ashes scattered is  going to be a really hard thing for me to do today. I am going in support for my mum and extended familyand I do so gladly, but a part of me wants to run kicking and screaming saying hell no I aint going.

Mandurah estuary Western Astralia

Anyway hopefully today wont be all that bad and there has been enough time since her passing that everyone is just happy to share a moment thinking of lovely moments shared with Nan over her  lifetime. In Truth I think nan would get a kick out of  today. Out on  a boat, on a hot day, taking in the smell of the ocean/estuary, listening to the  sounds of life all around and  surrounded by family. I can picture her face, smiling and just loving the moment for what it is. What more can a person ask for as their send off!


Anyway what ever your plans for the weekend and for today. Please have a fabulous time. Life is for living and appreciating. By doing this you honour those who have passed before you.