I am not wonder woman

Very frustrated today. mainly at myself and my physical limitations these days. Gone are the days when I never asked anyone for help with anything physical. Now I still dont ask, it just doesn't get done and that is why  I am in such a state now I think.


It goes against every fibre of my being to ask for help. I have always been so fiercely independent. Some days I think my mum is right when she tells me off for being too independent for my own good. I cant help it, I just need to feel in control of my destination and know pass or fail, I did it on my own merits. Mind you I am pretty sure I learnt that trait from her, and I dont really think of it as a failing, more a strength most days.


Lately though I am  realizing that I just dont  have the energy any more to pretend all is ok with my body. I am past caring  that people think I am just being lazy because my housework isnt done. and I am truly beyond  the point where I smile while they sit passing judgement on me when all they have to do  is open their eyes and see I am in real trouble at the moment.


Getting this house ready is killing me. Am I being dramatic? possibly. A night of extreme pain  will do that to a person. Especially when they  have been dealing with differing levels of pain constantly for months and years. Because you dont have a nasty gash, or a cast for all to see people think, just get on with it. we all have pain sometimes. Some days I feel like walking naked around these same people so they can see the mess that is my stomach after my surgery. Then maybe they may get that I am going to be dealing with this for the rest of my life. Then My stubborn fiery nature comes back to the surface and I feel like saying, kiss my  plus sized A*.


Perhaps I am reading more into words and looks than really is there. Maybe its my own feelings of inadequacy that are making me feel  people are passing judgement in which case, does that mean I am passing judgement on myself and that's why I get angry? All I know is if one more person asked when we will be ready to put the house on the market... I may actually go postal. If its that important for them, then they can bloody well come  and give us a hand, if not mind their own bees wax. The house will go on the market when  we are done and we will be done when its done, Hubby is not superman, and I have recently had to accept  I am not wonder woman.

As much as I wish I were ♥.

Its only one minute

11/11/2011 is remembrance day in Australia and many other countries. Its a time to reflect and remember sacrifices made and still being made. A day we give thanks to those still serving.

I have seen some people complain because they are about to be bombarded with red poppys on their walls and pages. I wonder if they realize  when they say that they may of  really hurt a retired soldier  that lost many mates or a widow that never got to say goodbye. Have they thought about  the many wives and husbands reading what they have just written, that wish their spouses were coming home tonight so they could complain about them leaving their dirty socks on the floor. What about the kids that never got to share their birthday with their mum or their dad.
I had both sides grandparents fight in ww2. I have had a cousin in Somalia. Living in a naval  base city I have had friends in the gulf not to mention other parts of the world. All of them came back for which I am grateful but each of them left a piece of themselves out there. They each saw things we couldnt even begin to  imagine. So for me tomorrow is one of 2 days in the year I think of each of them and give thanks to everything they have given and thanks to the powers that be that each of them came back. 
Where ever you are or what ever your beliefs about whats going on around the world at the moment, please take a moment to remember. Whether your in the shops or at work, please stop at 11am and take a minute out of your time to give your thanks. Please take the time to teach your kids and grand kids that for one minute  its time to think not speak. 

I think we owe our men and women that much dont you. after all its only one minute of our day. Couldnt we all  do with taking a minute out of our day to  just stop anyway!