I am a Moody girl.

I am a moody girl.. no really I am! It's ok though, I have accepted that is who I am. Even people that know me well think I have several personalities and  many of my close friends and family have met each and every one of them. Some of my friends have even named them! General consensus is that 'hallmark' personality is the sweetest . No- one likes Banshee or Little miss B much, well almost no-one and that is who this post is all about.

On top of  that little pearler to live with, I am learning to live with Fybromyalgia.  A real peach of a condition that pushes the boundaries of your sanity as well as your own personal endurances for pain, fatigue and 'fog'.


Just imagine how horrible it can be when you  wake up and before you get out of bed you just want to cry because you hurt so much, but don't even have the energy to shed a tear. That's how yesterday started out for me. Luckily for me though I have a secret weapon to help remind me why  its worth it to struggle on through it and be Alive.


*Yesterday it hurt so much to get out of bed, but I did it without a tear shed. "All is good" I say to myself, I can make it through today without crying. 
I walked out to hang the washing before work and I cried my eyes out because I knew I still had to get through the day on my feet and I could barely stand up straight already. Damn it, I almost made it out of the house. 
I walked in the door after work, put dinner on and then laid on my bed just wanting to cry because I was sure my body could not cope with one more ounce of pain, but I have no more energy left to give... Still, there is no rest for the wicked or us mums. Dinner had to be cooked and washing had to be bought back in. So Up I got and limped on through the chores. 
Dinner done no more tears, I am too exhausted to cry so of course here comes  Little Miss B out of her corner of the mess that is my mind. "

Poor Oscar copped Little miss B last night and she was in fine form!  Her opinion - All males on earth should no longer be breathing, just because they were born males. Don't ask me why Little miss B has a problem with males and thinks all of the problems in the world are caused by them being here. Hallmark certainly loves them and understands that each member of the human race, Male or female has the potential to be amazing. Banshee screams at each sex equally and shows no discrimination at all either. 

Oscar managed to endear himself to Little Miss B though,, as he generally does. . In the middle of a tirade of how horrible he was for being born a male (exaggeration), he just laughed gave me a hug and said, "I love your bad attitude, never change who you are. Now go get some sleep and let us poor blokes live another day".

I don't know what that says about me or him when it comes to moments like that, but its precisely those kind of moment when I think I am the luckiest girl in the world to find a guy that loves me even when I am at my worse.

Its moments like that one right there that help me to understand why he is so important to me and why 22 years ago Meeting him was fate. It's also moments like that, that remind me that even when I think I cant take any more and I have been overwhelmed by emotion and pain, there is still something wonderful about being alive.